Consequences

Aug 26, 2010

It's a sad thing. I have to warn my son of the consequences of his actions when he disobey me. If you don't drink milk, you will have weak bones. If you don't brush your teeth, bacteria will grow there. If you don't eat carrots, you will go blind at night. A lot of ifs and thens. I am afraid it will instill a spirit of fear in him and fearful of consequences. Not a good thing.

We adult drink milk to strengthen our bones. We adults brush our teeth to have good hygiene. We adults eat carrots because vitamin A is good for night vision. We do all those things because we know it is good for us. Kids don't understand what's good for themselves and we adults have to step in and push them to do the things that they don't like. We don't want to instill a spirit of fear. But if we don't, they will not do it.

As christians, we are not afraid of death. If death has lost its sting, what fear do we have? We ought to live fearlessly. But that belief is too difficult for kids to understand.

Any advice anyone on this?

Friends

August 5, 2010

I am writing this post in a reflective mood.

As I am writing, I am counting how many friends I relate to in the States at a deeper level. I relate to a filipino couple that are our neighbours. I talk to the husband when we meet outside our apartments. I relate to the husband of my wife's friend through e-mail and he encourages me when I write a new post. 2 guys. That's after 2  and a half years here. That's the result of staying at home for 2 and a half years looking after my son.

I was talking to a friend that came to Chicago recently and we met up and he encouraged me to work. He said most of his best friends were not from school but from work or church.  He encouraged me to start going to church also. Just to make more friends.

By virtue of technology, I am still in contact with some friends and relatives back in Singapore and beyond. I receive emails and comments on my blog. But if in the absence of technology, I would have already lost contact with them.

If I were to settle down in the States, I will have to make new friends. I will have to start going to church. I will have to work when my son is old enough. Through birth relations, going to school, going to work and going to church in Singapore, I have a list of friends that I keep in contact with now. With another half of my life to go and the time required to nurture my family, I will probably add a few more friends to my close list. I am starting with 2 guys for now.

Why?

Jul 16, 2010

One thing I like about my 4 year old attitude is his persistent question of why.

An example. In the morning, I will re-park the car sometimes. He asked why. And I answered that I am doing it so that the driver side rear door does not face the sun as it was involved in an accident and was recently repaired and repainted. And he will say ok.

He asked many other why questions also and I will answer each one in turn. The best gift as a parent to a child is to teach him to ask why and impart to him a rational mind. Sometimes, common sense is not so common and asking why is the first step. And he was the one who started asking why without me prompting him to. And as a parent, I have to be rational in my decision making so that I can set a good example for him.

I explain to him the reason why I do not allow him to do certain things and usually he will listen. Sometimes I will need to repeat the why's again and again until he does what I ask him to. For example, initially he does not like brushing his teeth with the new toothpaste and wants to use the old tooth paste that he could swallow. I have to explain to him again and again that swallowing the tooth paste is not good for him until he transitions to the new toothpaste without complaining. The other example is when he complains about drinking milk. And I have to explain to him again and again that milk is important for him to build strong bones and he is beginning to drink milk with less complaints now. There are other times that he is unreasonable. That is the case usually when he is sleepy or when he is tired.