Self Esteem

Sept 12, 2008

When I was a non believer, I had a low self esteem. I was always complaining, whether it was about my studies or about my circumstances. Then I had no knowledge of God and I did not know who I was.  I was not a man of understanding. As I was a student, all I wanted to do was to pass the university exams, so I was very studious and studied for nights and days without end. The studies were consuming me. But thank God for my studiousness, I passed my exams. But I still did not feel good about myself. Even when I got second class honours for my efforts, I still felt inferior. No matter what I do, I did not feel good about myself. No matter what self improvement books I read, I could not feel good about myself.

Until the time when I went through the process of maturing in christ and reading the bible for myself,  until I came to know about God and the knowledge of self, I could eventually hold out on 'my own'. Fear is replaced by hope, uncertainty is replaced by security, poor self-esteem is replaced by assurance of my situation. Eventually, it's knowing God/Jesus and knowing myself. It's knowing where will I eventually go when I pass away from this earth. (John 14:3). It's knowing that God is in control of my circumstances regardless of how bad it is (Romans 8:28) . It's knowing that God loves me regardless of how inferior I feel (John 3:16) . It's knowing that God/Jesus is my savour and I have eternal life (1 John 5:11-12). It's knowing that I have understanding through reading the word of God (Job 32:8).  It's knowing that I am a sinner by nature (Romans 3:23). It's knowing that nothing I do/achieve makes me who I am (Ephesians 2:8-9). It's knowing that I am a quiet person and God made me that way (Psalms 139:13). It's knowing that there is no need to fear of anything if death has lost it's sting (Heb 2:14) . It's knowing that it's God who made the heavens and the earth and how great He is and how small I am (Psalms 19:1). It's knowing that God does not look at appearances but is interested in my heart (1 Sam 16:7). Thank you God/Jesus for making me who I am today.