Attempts to wean from the pacifier

January 8, 2009

There was once when our family was eating out at a fast food restaurant when we caught notice of a seven to eight year old kid still with a pacifier in his mouth and we thought to ourselves: that was too much.

Our son is 3 years old now and I believe it is time to wean him from his pacifier, I don't want him to be like that kid mentioned above. So, I made some attempts during his afternoon nap, still giving him the pacifier when he sleeps at night. Below describes my attempts to wean him from the pacifier:

Attempt 1: Our son was shrieking at the top of his voice for 20 minutes and he finally cried himself to sleep. When he woke up in between, he was still asking for the pacifier but I denied him and he went back to sleep. But he woke up finally with a  shorter sleep than usual.

Attempt 2: Our son was crying again and I thought it may be too harsh on him, so I just gave the pacifier to him

Attempt 3: Yes, he was shrieking again but I hardened my heart and refused to give the pacifier to him. He was crying and crying and then with a broken voice, he said: "Daddy I love you". I was touched and impressed. I replied:"Daddy loves you too" There was silence for a while with sobbing then with louder cries and I reassured him "Daddy loves you". Then there was sobbing and then louder cries. Eventually, he felt hungry and I brought him to the kitchen to give him some fruit loop straw cereals. When he was filled, I brought him back to the bed room and he went to sleep. After he woke up, he was again shrieking and shouting: "Awai Daddy", meaning fight daddy in ilongo. So much for "Daddy I love you".

Attempt 4: On an alternate day of denying him,  he was asking for the pacifier again.  When I refused, he swinged his leg against me on the bed and as I threatened to punish him, he stopped. Eventually, he went to sleep without crying.

Babies suck naturally. That is how they suck milk from the mother's breast. The pacifier plays into this natural tendency and gives them a sort of security. So, after 3 years of sucking on the pacifier, our son must have felt insecure when I denied him the pacifier, even though he does not need the pacifier if he is not sleeping at this point of time( we have been consciously denying him the pacifier when he is awake). Maybe that is why he says "Daddy I love you" to seek some assurance from me. Most of the time, he says "Awai Daddy" to how much he is seeking assurance from the pacifier.

The above account happened in mid-November 2008. Since then, especially after the vacation we had in Singapore and relenting on our part ( especially the mother), he is back to his old ways. On a Thursday afternoon in January,  the mother tried to deny him and our son is screaming for most part of the afternoon again. She is going through the same treatment that I got in November. Seems like both of us have to go through it before he will correct his ways.

As a child that attempts to wean off the pacifier, we are also to wean off our old bad habits towards christ-likeness.

Romans 12:2

Do not conformany longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - niv

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. - kjv

Parable of the yeast from another perspective

Nov 21, 2008

Post taken from the site of a fellow christian blogger Lightbreak

He told them still another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.”  — Matthew 13:33

To explain what the kingdom of heaven is like, Jesus used the analogy of yeast.  It only takes a little bit of yeast to spread through an entire batch of dough.  The gospel has a potency similar to yeast.  If we exercise small acts of faithfulness in bringing our humble surroundings into contact with the Living God, then our surroundings and beyond will change for the better.

But there is another reason why the kingdom of heaven spreads like yeast.  In the Jewish tradition, yeast was considered unclean.  To illustrate, the bread to be eaten during the Passover meal had to be unleavened (made without yeast) so as to demonstrate purity.  So when Jesus compared the kingdom of heaven to yeast, the ears of his Jewish audience were surely pricked.  The point is that God can consecrate what is regarded as impure and use it for His purposes.  We might stay away from a certain professional field because it has a reputation for being full of darkness, for example.  Don’t be surprised if God calls you into that field for the purpose of transforming it into something that glorifies Him.

An identity

Nov 7, 2008

Work is an important part of our lives. We have been going to school since young and then to college to earn a degree or diploma. And then we go to work to earn the money to support ourselves and our family. We spend a tremendous part of our life preparing for the first job in our life and then another significant part of our life working to earn a living.  So much time and energy is consumed in the preparation and leading eventually to finding the work that we desire and then so much time and energy is poured into our work as we labour eight hours or more every day. So much so that work literally consumes us.

  It is thus not surprising to me that most people identify themselves with their work. When people ask them how they are, they will mention about their work. When they introduce themselves to new friends, they will say I work in ... In modern society, social status is also associated with where a person works. It is because a good position brings good income and thus the finer things of life. I am also not surprised that work gives self worth to an individual. It makes a person feels good especially if he is successful or if he has completed a project successfully. I guess it is a natural thing that results when an individual spend so much time working.

  So the question is: Is your self-worth tied to your work? Do you have an identity besides being addressed as Dr So and So or Engineer So and so? What happens when you are retrenched? Or when your business fails? Or when you retire? Will you feel depressed? You might say that the next safety net will be your family when that happens but that might give you a sense of false security because by then you will be in a condition that is very personal.

  I learned it the hard way. I was out of job after a few years of obtaining my engineering degree and the opportunities offered by my degree has subsided, more so because my experience gained was not enough to see me through to another job. Yes there is a a need to retrain and re-skill. But more than that, I realised that my self worth was tied to my job. It was very natural. It was the hard way of finding out the truth. 

  Try some soul searching and ask if that is true of yourself. If yes, do something about it. 

  For me, it was a humbling experience to be out of job and can't seem to find another job. It was after that experience that I can truly say now that my self worth is now not tied to my job. Hence, I can now look after my son full time and still be happy about. Ultimately, resting my hope on eternal perspective/Jesus helps me to pull myself out of the slum. It was a painful experience and I guess that it is only from hindsight that I can write what i write now.

1 Peter 3:15:

15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, - niv

15But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: -kjv